How Can You Not Laugh?
September 28, 2011 27 Comments
Actually, I’m pointing and laughing.
The AL East hatred of the Yankees and Red Sox almost goes hand in hand. If you don’t live in either city, it’s likely that you have developed a passion for rooting against these two perennial powerhouse teams. Every year it’s like having The Joker and Two Face separately wreak havoc on the dreams of the 28 other Major League teams.
This is arguably the most epic collapse in the history of Major League Baseball. I say with immense pleasure that it was a treat to watch it unfold before my eyes.
It’s not sadistic. It’s only natural. I would even go as far to say that it would be wrong to sympathize with the Red Sox as well as the city of Boston.
If it isn’t the big payroll, it’s the snail’s pace, toolish looking closer, the powerhouse roster or the Boston fan that pisses you off even though you can’t quite figure out why. There are an endless amount of reasons to get satisfaction out of a Boston Red Sox collapse.
Why stop at the baseball team though?
I don’t just hate the Boston Red Sox. I’m jealous of the city.
It’s difficult to sympathize with a city that has as many championship teams as Boston has. Every single one of their teams has won a championship in the last 5 years. I, much like many of you, have gone my entire life without witnessing a championship from one of my hometown teams.
*Note: I was 1 and 2 years old at the time of the Toronto Blue Jays championships, which I hardly think counts.
At the same time, I have to say that I am stoked to see the Rays pull it out, especially in the fashion of a walk-off dinger. They deserve it. They deserve it because of all the personnel that they lost in the off-season. They deserve it because they don’t need $200 million to create a winning team.
Hopefully, for his sake, Carl Crawford can take solace in his many millions of dollars.
Ellsbury, Pedroia, Ortiz, Gonzalez, Crawford, Lester, Papelbon, Bucholz. Flat out, that’s not fair.
The manner in which the Red Sox lost their final chance at redemption makes it that much sweeter, like a hot fudge sundae on a hot summers day. It doesn’t get much better than a big BS for a pitcher who could probably use a punch in the face every now and then. Well, at least a nice little bitch slap.
My disgust of the Red Sox reached its height earlier in the season when Jonathan Papelbon closed out a game against the Blue Jays at his incredibly, excessive, monumental, tortoise-like pace. His breathing, open mouth and all around douchebaggery pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t take it anymore. All seemed to be lost though with the Red Sox holding a 9 game lead with only 26 games left in the regular season.
I guess it ain’t over til the Red Sox closer chokes eh?
Not a problem though, Boston fans can now turn to their beloved Patriots and Mr. GQ extraordinaire. Another winning season and possible Super Bowl run can cure what ails the Bostonian sports fan.
Opportunity doesn’t come knocking at your door every day. For me, I have to take this chance to snicker at the temporary sadness of a baseball team that will probably finish up next year battling it out for another post-season spot yet again.
You should too.
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