How Can You Not Laugh?

What now Jonathan?

Actually, I’m pointing and laughing.

The AL East hatred of the Yankees and Red Sox almost goes hand in hand. If you don’t live in either city, it’s likely that you have developed a passion for rooting against these two perennial powerhouse teams. Every year it’s like having The Joker and Two Face separately wreak havoc on the dreams of the 28 other Major League teams.

This is arguably the most epic collapse in the history of Major League Baseball. I say with immense pleasure that it was a treat to watch it unfold before my eyes.

It’s not sadistic. It’s only natural. I would even go as far to say that it would be wrong to sympathize with the Red Sox as well as the city of Boston.

If it isn’t the big payroll, it’s the snail’s pace, toolish looking closer, the powerhouse roster or the Boston fan that pisses you off even though you can’t quite figure out why. There are an endless amount of reasons to get satisfaction out of a Boston Red Sox collapse.

Why stop at the baseball team though?

I don’t just hate the Boston Red Sox. I’m jealous of the city.

It’s difficult to sympathize with a city that has as many championship teams as Boston has. Every single one of their teams has won a championship in the last 5 years. I, much like many of you, have gone my entire life without witnessing a championship from one of my hometown teams.

*Note: I was 1 and 2 years old at the time of the Toronto Blue Jays championships, which I hardly think counts.

At the same time, I have to say that I am stoked to see the Rays pull it out, especially in the fashion of a walk-off dinger. They deserve it. They deserve it because of all the personnel that they lost in the off-season. They deserve it because they don’t need $200 million to create a winning team.

Hopefully, for his sake, Carl Crawford can take solace in his many millions of dollars.

Ellsbury, Pedroia, Ortiz, Gonzalez, Crawford, Lester, Papelbon, Bucholz. Flat out, that’s not fair.

The manner in which the Red Sox lost their final chance at redemption makes it that much sweeter, like a hot fudge sundae on a hot summers day. It doesn’t get much better than a big BS for a pitcher who could probably use a punch in the face every now and then. Well, at least a nice little bitch slap.

My disgust of the Red Sox reached its height earlier in the season when Jonathan Papelbon closed out a game against the Blue Jays at his incredibly, excessive, monumental, tortoise-like pace. His breathing, open mouth and all around douchebaggery pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t take it anymore. All seemed to be lost though with the Red Sox holding a 9 game lead with only 26 games left in the regular season.

I guess it ain’t over til the Red Sox closer chokes eh?

Not a problem though, Boston fans can now turn to their beloved Patriots and Mr. GQ extraordinaire. Another winning season and possible Super Bowl run can cure what ails the Bostonian sports fan.

Opportunity doesn’t come knocking at your door every day. For me, I have to take this chance to snicker at the temporary sadness of a baseball team that will probably finish up next year battling it out for another post-season spot yet again.

You should too.

Agree? Disagree? If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, please feel free to reply in the comments section below. Or you can e-mail me at Also, follow me on twitter @paintstheblack and I will happily return the favour.

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27 Responses to How Can You Not Laugh?

  1. Two questions now that this has occurred. Does this mean people will finally forget the Mets 2007 collapse? Does this noe mean the Red Sox will overbid for Jose Reyes?

  2. ballcaps says:

    I saw the Red Sox several weeks ago and they battered the Royals in Kansas City. I assumed they would be in the playoffs, probably as the wild card runner-up to the Yankees.

    Was I wrong.

    The Sox will be back next year, right in the thick of it as you predict.

  3. tophatal says:


    If an organization has the financial wherewithal to pay for the talent then why begrudge them of that ? I mean between them the Red Sox and Yankees’ salary expenses are in excess of $280 million combined but they each have the revenues to back that up with both owning their own cable broadcast outlets . In the case of the Yankees it’s the YES Network and for the Red Sox they have NESN . Not only that but they can write off the losses derived from those operations and there’s not a damn thing the IRS can do about it . If you really want to apportion blame then look at the league hierarchy led by Selig .

    Heads will roll in Boston ………….. Francona could meet the same fate as Grady Little . Never mind the roster in part could be gutted .

    It’s all about conceit with regards to an organization when they’ve had success .…… and it will always remain that way . It just doesn’t happen in baseball but also within the NFL and NBA . Look at Jones with the Cowboys ? A $1.3 billion stadium and a team that’s not worth a damn ! And last season LBJ with the Heat ? In the case of James and his ……” not one , not two , not three but four or five championships “ . Hell they’ve yet to win their first and the embarrassing series’ loss to the Mavericks was enough for him (Lebron James ) to shut his pompous a@s !

    tophatal ….

  4. bgeary8 says:

    It’s interesting to hear this from a Jays fan, as I don’t know any at home. We’ll see if the Rays can score enough to do damage in October. Hopefully it will be half as interesting as what we saw tonight.

  5. Hey man, rooting for the BoSox is still more productive than rooting for the Cubs 🙂 You can always take solace in that, haha. Quite an end to the season..

  6. JW says:

    I’ve spent the better part of the last twelve hours explaining this to Red Sox fans. This self-quote is the crux of what Sawwwwx nation needs to understand…

    “You should understand that for the rest of us, those of us not fans of the Yankees or Red Yankees, those of us whose teams have spent a decade playing the Washington Generals to your bloated-payroll Globetrotters…when either team fails, it is the same sort of soul-filling pablum that makes people watch soap operas. We all love to watch the rich and famous stumble.”

  7. buddad1957 says:

    The Boston Braves, err Red Sox and the Atlanta Braves swan dive on the last night of the season, priceless! It’s too bad there aren’t any Tampa Bay fans to enjoy it. All those empty seats in such a game, disgusting. The players deserve it, the city? Not so much.

  8. Well-written. Very good observation, especially about the Braves flying under the radar over their collapse. Interesting how it was pointed out minutes after both collapses were final that the Red Sox would be the ones that grab national headlines, and they have. Twitter is going crazy over the Beantown Meltdown. It’s amazing the similarities concerning the September slides of the Red Sox and Braves. The Braves probably have more work to do, since their offensive lineup brings very little to the table. The question for the Red Sox, other than the lack of “bag for their buck” production from both Crawford and Lackey, is whether they keep Papelbon, who I think is a free agent. A big portion of Red Sox nation were pushing for Daniel Bard, but he had a horrible stretch run. Very interesting how this all turns out.

  9. unclemonkey says:

    I went to bed last night thinking the Yankees and Red Sox won. I checked my phone this morning and saw your post in an email and about fell off the toilet! It is hilarious! I can understand your hatred towards the Yankees and Red Sox – I’m a Yankees fan and this historic collapse just made the whole baseball season for me! To see the misery of the Red Sox players, managers and fans – I LOVE IT!

  10. Ahhhhh My man! i think i got a man crush on you. GO YANKEES!!!

  11. chappy81 says:

    Couldn’t agree more. Looks like that crappy slow start came back to haunt them bwhahahahah! I couldn’t figure out if I was more excited that Paps and the Sox lost last night or that DJ and Longo powered the Rays to a win. Either way it was a storybook ending, which never usually turns out the way I want it to, but last night it actually did.

  12. Pingback: Links to Last Night’s Epic Night of Baseball « MLB Dirt

  13. Dan Bartemus says:

    Chris, nice article. Funny stuff, I can tell you’re a deprived Blue Jays fan. I’m a Yankee fan myself, so clearly we don’t agree there, but I think we can share our hatred of the Red Sox. You’re a solid writer with a good sense of humor. Keep up the good work and come back to, love to have you as a reader.


  14. Elizabeth says:

    I have taken great pleasure in these turn of events for a few reasons:
    1- It’s super cool to see a team come from behind like that, and I rather like the Rays (the sympathy I had for them when they were perennial cellar dwellers has yet to evaporate, I suppose…)
    2- As a Cubs fan, I am thrilled for the ’11 Red Sox to possibly usurp the ’69 Cubs in the most infamous collapses of all time.
    3- Also from a Cubs fan point of view, it doesn’t hurt my feelings to see Red Sox nation get taken down a few notches. Not so many ago, Cubs and Red Sox fans were kindred spirits… brothers in arms. But ever since they actually became GOOD, and started winning and stuff, it hasn’t been the same. It’s about time they remembered where they came from. 😉

    These things being said, I don’t get any kicks purely out of the Sox losing, just to see them lose. I’ve been on the wrong end of that stick enough times… so I try to avoid rejoicing in the misfortunes of others. I don’t always succeed, but I try. 🙂

  15. Teeblerone says:

    Couldn’t happen to a more spoiled fanbase of malcontents. Nice post, I’ve had fun chronicling this slide the last couple of weeks on my blog, watching the Red Sox trying to out-Yankee the Yankees by buying up talent only to have it backfire. Thanks for checking mine out!

  16. Gus says:

    All I can really say is this Sox team should really be called the 2007-8 Boston Met Sox.

    Thanks for checking out my blog. I think I’m biased, but I really enjoyed this post! LOL

  17. But enough about the Sox, how about dem Rays.

    This is a team led by maybe one nationally recognized player.

    This is a team that could barely manage consistency at the plate all season long, unless you call their inability to hit consistent.

    This is a team that retooled its bullpen and largely relied on its starting pitching.

    This is a team that’s led by one of the more eccentric personalities in the game.

    It was wild here in Tampa last night, brother.

    Here’s my take….

  18. Pags'Pages says:

    As a Red Sox fan, I did not laugh. But I can see where other sports fans are coming from. We went from perenial basement dwellers to sore winners at the drop of a hat.

    I also find it pretty ironic that after the Boston Issue of ESPN The Magazine the Pats lose to the Bills and the Sox cap their horrific September with an epic meltdown. I guess we had it coming.

    However, I don’t call Tom Brady “Mr. GQ extraordinaire,” I call him Mr. Bündchen. As you can see in my post

    Anyway, thanks for reading my blog. I’ve looked through yours and it’s very well written. Keep up the good work, and don’t take my Vancouver posts from the Stanley Cup finals too seriously.



  19. footballnutz17 says:

    Great article. I wasn’t pointing and laughing but I find it crazy how the collapsed.

  20. Max. W says:

    Great article. I just wrote a new post about the NBA lockout and it would be great if you could check it out and give me your feedback.

  21. brief22 says:

    Great post Chris. After I overcame the shock of what just happened, I found it hard not to laugh

  22. philsfaninnewyork says:

    Awesome post Chris! I wonder what is more devastating to Boston fans in this era, this or when the New York Giants upset them in the Super Bowl!

  23. tophatal says:


    There’s 167 million reasons to laugh ………. Red Sox’s payroll for this season . ‘nough said !

    If at all interested ?

    News , Views & Tidbits

    Alan aka tophatal ……..

  24. Bheise says:

    I finally got around to reading this. I love the fact the Red Sox choked. I especially love how a lot of Boston folks are choosing to blame New York, that they didn’t want to face Boston in the playoffs….as if they would have gotten past the ALDS. The totally deserve what they got.

  25. tophatal says:


    Still subscribing to the fact that Romo ….. is a winner ?


    tophatal …

  26. Pingback: Justin Verlander. The V is for Victory

  27. Brianna says:

    If you are willing to pay tudnsahos you can get them on Stubhub, eBay or any other site. Ticketmaster will not have any for the general public sale. The All-Star game is made up of corporations and season ticket holders. Ticketmaster may have tickets on sale for FanFest which is a bunch of activities that lead up to the All-Star Game.

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